Before we had our baby, I had a few goals about how I wanted things to go. I was going to stay home, have a completely natural child birth, and breastfeed as long as possible. So far, I've met my goals. I know the pros and cons to all of these and deem them all good things to do. I'm proud and blessed that I can do all 3 of these things. But there is a con to breastfeeding no one seems to talk about, at least to me.
We have done our best to be socially "normal" after having our baby boy. We still go out with friends, hang out with them at someone's house, and plan trips with them all with our baby in tow. We didn't want to be the couple that is couped up at home because we have a baby and we let his needs and schedule control our wants and schedules. BUT THAT'S WHAT SHOULD HAPPEN! They need a schedule or you go crazy! I didn't think I'd ever say that.
Our schedule has been baby-led. That means we didn't (and still don't) force anything to happen according to our wants. We let baby boy tell us when he's hungry, he's tired, and when he should go to bed. This eventually turned into a routine that became our schedule. Thankfully, our little one is a social butterfly and loves being in the know. This allows us to take him with us and he's not a burden.
But there's still the "issue" of breastfeeding. Baby boy over here is starting to realize he's missing out on life when he's feeding under a cover. He's also starting to sweat profusely when under it too. The cover is only useable half of the time now.
So what do I do when he won't eat under the cover? I go in a room by myself to feed him. If we are in public, I go to the bathroom or back to the car.
Everyone tells you that breastfeeding is constant, time consuming, painful (at first), the battle of doing it in public, and whether or not to cover up. Another positive is getting out of undesirable situations or chores because "the baby is hungry and I need to go feed him." =)
But the con no one told me about breastfeeding is the loneliness. No one ever told me it would be lonely. Breastfeeding is so time consuming that it causes you to feel lonely at times. When I have to leave my friends and fun to feed my baby, I get lonely. When I have to go to the car during a wedding reception, I get lonely. When I have to stop watching my favorite teams play to go to a room with no tv, I get lonely (thank goodness for iPhones, Hulu subscriptions, & a TV addiction). But even with technology, it doesn't change the fact that I'm in a room by myself feeding my baby.
Don't get me wrong, I love my baby. I love being able to provide for him in a way no one else can. I love the bonding we have when he is awake and eating. But lots of times, he needs to focus on eating and not life around him. To do that, we need to go somewhere that he won't fight with a cover, won't be trying to look around, and won't get scared by a sudden sound.
It's a struggle being a breastfeeding mom. Don't ever let anyone talk you out of it if it's something you want to do. Only you know what's best for your baby. Don't let anyone convince you otherwise. I just wanted to let others out there know that the loneliness is real, totally normal, and still worth it.