A Letter to Jayce: Three Months

Hi little man!

I can't believe that another month has passed. You've had another month of growing in so many different ways.

You now recognized Daddy and me when we talk to you. You smile so big when you see us and hear us. You have even started "talking" back.

You can sit in your bumbo without any help. 

You gave Daddy his first Father's Day. 

You met your birthday twin and a friend born the day before you. 

You saw Daddy off for his first day of work. 

You made your first trip to Oklahoma. 

You met your great grandma,

Great aunt,

Aunt & Uncle

And cousins!

You saw your first fireworks show and loved it. 

You tried a swing for the first time

& fell asleep it was so awesome. 

You had your first time in a baby pool

And regular pool for your first night swim. 

You have outgrown all your newborn clothes and diapers. They are too short for you now!

You even have started taking naps in the MamaRoo!!!!

Mommy & Daddy celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary. We spent the whole day with you, Redbox movies, and Grandpa (since it was his birthday too). It was the most simple way we've ever celebrated our anniversary...and we wouldn't have it any other way since you were there. =)

We love you so much! We cannot wait to see what "firsts" come this next month. 

A Letter to Jayce: Two Months

Jayce, Little Man,

You are currently sleeping in my arms, milk drunk. This past month has brought so many precious moments and firsts that I don't even know where to begin. 

You had your first trip to the ranch...and it was hard work learning how to sleep in a new place. 

You went to your first high school graduation....

and proceeded to have your first major blowout...on me and my dress. (Notice I'm now wearing a sweater - with a new dress you can't see - and you're wearing a new outfit too.)

You started to make new faces when we talk to you. 

You had your first tummy time that wasn't on someone's chest. 

You got to watch your first NBA finals game. Daddy & I can't wait for you to love sports like us. 

You made your first friend. 

You went to big church for the first time. (Yay for a cry room!)

 

You got to meet a loved great-grandma. 

And for your two month birthday, you had your first shots. 

But the biggest change of all this month...

I fell in love with you over and over again. 

I fell so in love this month that this sight

made me cry crocodile tears. You are growing up so fast. I'm torn between two things: wanting to watch you grow and learn OR wanting you to stay this cute and innocent baby. 

My love for you is endless. 

You are making my heart grow. 

I am starting to understand God's endless love for me. 

You are helping me learn patience, a lesson I've been struggling with my whole life. 

You are helping me lean harder on God for the big and little, something I've been trying to do for years. 

You have become my whole world. 

And I wouldn't have it any other way. 

Love, Mommy

A Letter to Jayce: One Month

Jayce,

You have been here for a month as of Monday. You came into the world 3 weeks early and we could not be more happy. I asked for one day off from work and that's exactly what you gave me. But more than that, we are so just thankful that you are here. 

You have been prayed for since before Daddy and I were even a couple. We have wanted you to be here since we knew we would get married. Sorry we had to wait so long but God knew what was best.

You had your first photo shoot a day after you were born in the hospital. 

You had your second a week later. We will treasure those pictures forever since you will never be that little again. 

I got to celebrate my first Mother's Day because you came early. I have been able to start my lifelong dream of being a stay at home mommy. 

Daddy had his pinning ceremony on Sunday and you were able to be there. 

  

You have already made our lives mean so much more. I've never been more tired or more happy. 

Unfortunately, I've been struggling with a little postpartum depression - feeling like a milk machine more than a mommy,  struggling to feel connected to you, lacking that instant overwhelming love for you, your cries bringing me frustration and empathy tears. 

Thankfully, you and your daddy make me feel loved at just the right moments. I hope you learn so many things from your daddy just by watching him be the Godly man that he is. 

I pray that I can start feeling more in love with you on a consistent basis. Please know that I do love you. 

I love when you get calm at just hearing my voice.

I love when you grab my finger. 

I love when you make eye contact with me.

I love all your cute and funny faces. 

I love when you smile in your sleep. 

l love when you fall asleep on my chest.

Sometimes I just don't feel lovey as much as I want. You are an answered prayer. I just have to adjust how I react to your needs. You will always need me and I will always need you and love you - I am your kiss goodnight, and you are my I love you. 

Our L&D Story

On Thursday April 16th, we had our 37w appointment and I was exactly 37w. My glucose numbers had been low for the previous 3 days. Our doctor said it was probably because the placenta stops preventing insulin from reaching the baby as it gets closer to its expiration date. She checked me and said I was 1cm dilated still but I was now 70% effaced and baby was at -2 station. She ended our appointment by saying "Well, if you're still pregnant next week, we will have another basic appointment like this." We didn't think it would start 24 hours later. =)

Jerome and I went out to have a date Friday night at 6:30pm. As soon as we stepped foot in the doors at 6:55p, I felt a gush of liquid. I ran to the bathroom where it continued. We immediately left, called our parents and headed home. When we got home, I had 2 more rounds of gushing and we knew my bag of waters had broken. I hadn't had any contractions prior so we prayed that they would come so we didn't have to have interventions. Within 2 hours, I was having mild contractions every 8 minutes. I labored at home for 12 hours until the contractions were at least a minute long and about 4 1/2 minutes apart. We checked into the hospital at 6:30a on Saturday, found out I was 4cm and baby was -1 station. I got into a L&D room by 8a.

At 3:30p, I was 9cm and baby was at +2 station. With every contraction, I had to resist pushing since I wasn't fully dilated. This low station was causing major pain in my lower back. I had to relax my whole body except my core so that I wouldn't push. We also found out baby had turned its head to the left slightly. After calling my doctor, a resident came in to physically turn baby back to face down with a contraction. So glad she did because I only had to wait one hour more before pushing instead of more. 

Our doctor arrived at 4:30p, saw how low baby was and decided I could start pushing even though I wasn't quite 10cm. She helped my cervix reach 10cm and stay there while I was pushing. After 1 1/2 hours of pushing, my contractions were slowing down and it was getting close to pitocin being necessary. Jerome gave me a little pep talk and I knew I had to start pushing harder and through my back pain. I pushed for another 1 1/2 hours, having to have oxygen between pushes. Afterwards, Jerome told me I was having minimal contractions and that last 90 minutes was basically me pushing on my own strength, which is why I needed the oxygen. 

Our baby BOY was born on Saturday, April 18th at 7:47pm after 25 hours of labor. Jayce Alan was 7lb 4oz and 20.5in long. He shows no signs of the gestational diabetes affecting him and he is perfect!!